I don't know whether I am mad or brave but have decided on the pleurectomy\decortication of the pleura. Some may think this operation is a walk in the park but after listening to Dr Edwards go through the procedure and what will happen etc I am dreading the first few days after the operation.
I know I've been there before, when originally cut open to find out what was wrong, but that was different it was heading into the unknown, and to be honest I didn't like it that time when I woke up!
If I come out of this with 90% cancer removed then I am a very lucky person and work out at least another 5 years of life, and with cryo this could easily keep me going for years and years, until I get tired of treatments.
I most admit I am looking forward to having a breather between worrying over how to keep alive and which treatment should I go for. To have a year off and do some proper living sounds perfect.
My meso mate Lyn has also been a source of inspiration and a kind of driving force, always there at the end of a email and encouraging me on, I know her reasoning if it works for me then she'll give it a try. But that's what its all about, helping each other and sharing the experiences. I want to thank my other meso email friends for sharing and encouraging, we all need a little hope and a lot of nerve to fight this unpredictable cancer.
This is still not a cure for mesothelioma, so far there is no cure, we can kill the tumours off 100% but at some point in time they will return. I don't know how but they do, all we can do is try and find something to keep us going. Which ever route you take, gene therapy, chemo, surgery or cryo, you need to choose one that is right for you, what works for one may not give the same results to another but you have to try to find out. If you have chemo by the normal way or embolisation you will know if its worked by month 4, if its surgery your taking a big risk for what might turn out to be 0% to 100% debulking of cancer, nobody can actually tell you which is the best or right direction to follow Its your life and its in your hands.
So wish me luck, I won't let this cancer beat me yet so by the 16th of January I should be feeling pretty smug if Dr Edwards has removed as much as possible. Even more interesting would be to see the cancer cells eliminated by the cryo but I guess with the amount of cancer I've got around the lung looking for a specific area will be quite difficult with all the blood,lining etc getting in the way.
I don't really want to think about after the operation so I'll leave it there, I hate needles, tubes, anything that doesn't belong in your body. Hopefully I will be back on line within 14 days, even if I have to type with one finger on my right hand.
