I got in to see the GP and he had a quick listen, the pain doesn't seem so bad once I get moving around but I have a stuffy nose and a rotten headache.  He said it sounds flat, but to be honest I don't exactly have an easy chest area to listen to.  He prescribed Clarithromycin so I came out hoping it's an infection.  I took the tablets after dinner and then 3 hours later was ill, feeling sick, diarrhoea, stomach pains etc.  My mouth tasted terrible and I knew I was having a reaction to the tablets.

This morning my heart feels heavier and my head not so good, I text my doc who wants me to go to urgent care but its Saturday and I know I will end up spending at least 4 hours sitting there with lots of bugs floating around.  Having hunted through the medicine cupboard have found some flucloxacillin so text back and said will try these but will need more on Monday if they work as I don't have a full course.    I have had intermittent pain in this area for quite a while, which I know will be the meso, but to have it full on like this I really pray it is an infection.  The pain is terrible and as I am waking up my brain is trying to deal with it by trying to categorise it in my mind, I know I am strange.  I don't have shortness of breath it just hurts if I breath deeply, guess I will be spending the weekend bored rigid on the sofa.

Its 3 years tomorrow since I had surgery, 3 years, the time has flown by so fast, it took me forever to recover from the pain, but then again I did push myself too much by being back at work 3 months later.  I am the worst patient for being ill.  But as Lyn keeps saying I can't go back and change anything I did what I did and that's that.

Scan is booked for end of February, then I guess see what is out there, if this is meso then I need to shrink it or stop it so I don't have pain and that means taking action.  I know I do have growth and I have thickening around the heart area as well as those naughty nodules, but could they grow so fast to cause so much pain in such a short period?  And action - what action is left out there for me?

My sofa is calling, have a few Dvd's to watch so maybe today will fly as well.

Hospital Stayover because of Mesothelioma

I never thought I would end up in hospital due to a cold so all of you out there, don't waste time wondering should I go to the Doc's or not.  I went to bed Wednesday night a little tight chested and felt like I wasn't getting any air to my lungs, On Thursday I awoke with a panic attack as I just couldn't breathe, well not exactly a panic attack but this awful feeling.  I asked hubby if he would make me an appointment at the doctors and because I just didn't feel well I stayed in bed.  He came back up an hour and a half before the appointment with a cuppa but I still didn't want to get up.  I told him I would forgo a shower (which isn't me) so he suggested calling an ambulance and I wasn't impressed ... you know the "why do I need an ambulance  I just have a cold blah blah" really I should have called an ambulance at 6.00 am that morning, in fact I should have made an appointment last Monday with the Doc and all would have been well.  We arrived at the doc's who turned us around and sent us directly to hospital.  They in turn checked me over and after a few tests  sent me onward by ambulance to the main hospital at Darlington.  Normally I would be kicking and screaming but I just couldn't be bothered, I hurt and even more I was scared, this not being able to get my breath was a worry and although it only lasted for a short while it gave my imagination to much to think about. 

To be honest I think during the day I was having strange dreams and although I knew I was dreaming when I was normal I felt that something in these dreams was important or had something to do with what was going on.  At least that was the sensation I kept getting and even now as I am sitting here I feel the same. 

This morning after spending the night on oxygen and having steroid's fired up my nostrils at 530 miles per hour I felt fine, infact I was helping (or hindering) the ladies being the youngest (nearly 50) on the entire ward of 29 beds! I felt somewhat of a wanted person early on when a young Trainee Doc asked if he could do his assessment on me, then I met another Doc who had heard of me through the Meso meetings etc, of course I was trying to convert them to take an active interest in mesothelioma! The decision was made at 8am that all being well I would be on my way home by lunch.  Well what happens, you all know once you get in you can never get out, that's why I hate hospital's so much. The amount of time you hang around waiting for your mam or dad to be discharged.  Anyway it was my turn, I was leaving (well waiting to leave and as usual pharmacy was holding the job up) then along comes Ann who says that my ECG shows I have a problem with my heart, she says "we know it was there in 09 because you had heart failure and an ECG was taken" but is my heart showing a problem that could have been there for a while was it just an abnormality because of surgery or is it something more sinister?  I saw one of the Chest Doctors (although I wasn't admitted under him on this visit) who told me the lining has thickened, there was talk of an embolism (thankfully it isn't).   So where am I now, well I am home, taking horse tablets for the infection but need to return for further heart discussions and also to return back to the chest clinic.  All I can tell you is that I am totally worn out and will debate further on this tomorrow.