Home at last. One week later another tumour gone. This one was 4.5 x 3.5cm, notice this one was, yes another one bites the dust.
It was good to see the team again in UCLA, it was pretty much the same routine, check in at 5.30 and down by 7.30. This time I got a deep sedation so although I was breathing on my own I went to sleep. Although before they knocked me out I was off the trolley twice to spend a penny, why is it your nerves always get the better of you?
I woke up with one boob larger than the other, I asked if Dr Abtin could have given the other side a bit of a lift to even them up but he laughed and said 'It won't stay like that'. But for a couple of days I had a feeling what it must be like to have DD, even though it was loopsided.
We returned for xrays the following day and a chat and review of the CT. I love watching this friend of my turning black on the screen, I hate the fact that there is so much in there. My friend is really growing. Dr Abtin had Dr Suh join us as we reviewed the CT. It was good to hear that I have excellent lungs, although Dr Suh didn't realise I have the smoking habit and only realised when Dr Abtin coughed. But seriously the inside of my lungs are healthy, how can this disease do so much damage on the outside.
Like the last time, I felt jubilant about killing more off but then in the dark of night your mind takes to spirals when you contemplate what's ahead. Why couldn't my friend just be the odd tumour here and there, that way the cryo would take the lot out, but no I have to have the rind. That's the cancer fusing together right round the lung. We also looked at the mole hills, these are uneven areas on the rind that are larger tumours than the mass.
Apart from killing another worthy lump of cancer, hubby and I also managed to top up our tans. I wanted to go sight seeing but to be honest I found nothing more relaxing than sitting by the pool reading a couple of novels and drinking strawberry smoothies.
I would tell anyone with meso get your CT sent to Dr Abtin or Dr Suh at UCLA , if they can do anything they will. If they can't they tell you. Somehow I find the bluntness of how Doctors tell you things in America quite refreshing, you know what's ahead and the fight you are in.
I have never been one to hide my head in the sand, sometimes I wish I could, but if you don't know what your up against you can't solve the problem.
Hubby and I hardly talked about my friend much in the past years but since cryo last August we have talked about him quite alot. Cancer is a topic that can lead to tears but most of all it leads to frustration. The person who has it feels alone deep inside, the partner who watches feels isolated and helpless. You both want to be strong for each other and this can lead to aloofness rather than sharing.
Okay time to get some much needed rest. Last thing though on the flight out none other than Colin Farrell was on our flight, what beautiful eyes he has, although I didn't think much of his boots! For all those love sick women out there I saw him waking up, more than must have done. (My hubby just read this over my shoulder and called me a tart!) Coming back Kate Moss and James May. You just don't know who'll you see flying out to LA and back.
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