I dreaded going to bed last night so sure I would have the same bad night I had before. I said to hubby if you wake up during the night and I am lying on my back please roll me over. Bless, he did once during the night.
Bear came up at 5 wanting to go out but I vaguely heard the order Lie Down so I just drifted back to sleep. He came back up at 7 and out of bed hubby got and stayed up. I came down at 9, I needed the additional sleep but any longer and my body would not benefit from it. I felt so much better, I had somehow stayed mainly on my left side.
The sky up here was grey mixed with blue so I made my mind up I was going with the dogs, after a little messaging on face book I showered and actually managed to get a pair of hipster jeans on. Tight where the button fastened, but on. The fields were really windy, Oops and I didn't take anything to cover my mouth. I managed, both Lexi and Bear loved the fact I was with them and stayed close by me the entire walk. It was wonderful to feel the fresh clean air on my face. Once down the first field the wind wasn't as harsh and I enjoyed watching Bear go and sniff here and there. So many butterflies this year and so many different coloured ones. Also a beautiful blue dragonfly stayed close by the pond. They are so beautiful to watch as they dart here and there.
As hubby has started Insanity, I sent him for some decent trainers yesterday. Mine are looking rather shabby so he said we would go and get me a new pair as this shop in Bishop had such a large range. He also needed some shorts to work out it, accidents could happen in his loose fitting ones!
I tried on a couple of pairs but my feet weren't comfortable, I didn't think at first and bending over pulling off and putting on shoes my stomach was starting to hurt. The trousers were obviously pushing in and forcing some of the fluid back. When I finally choose a pair and was waiting for hubby to pick out some shorts I had terrible stomach ache. I thought I was going to collapse with it. The pain was similar to when you know you have to go to the toilet, but I didn't want to go. I left him in the shop and made my way outside, holding my unborn stomach.
He drove home like a bat out of hell, I had to tell him to slow down as I felt my insides were sloshing from one side to the other. Hot water bottle and stripped off jeans the pains started to recede. So it was an hour on the sofa.
I watched and counted as he worked out and put some roast potatoes in, not that I was hungry but it is Sunday. I have managed to eat some veg, a slice of beef and two small roast potatoes, not a lot really, but at least it has gone down. The dogs were pleased as they got quite a lot of dinner. By the time my stomach is drained I think I will look like a skeleton!
My head is still all over the place, one minute I have no thoughts of what could happen or what is happening, the next I am worrying and on the computer reading articles. Mavis has been a great help and found a site where a discussion was on about ascities. If anyone else would like to read it:
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.inspire.com%2Fgroups%2Fovarian-cancer-national-alliance%2Fdiscussion%2Fcoping-with-ascites%2F&h=LAQGFnbIC
So its work again tomorrow, I have no idea what I am going to wear either. I know my friends brought some of their wardrobes over but the dresses are more for the cruise than work. Even if I wear leggings I haven't got anything to go on top! I never thought a woman in her 50's would turn up to work with leggings and a long top on. When I think back to the ladies I used to work for when I was in my late teens, you called them Mrs and they always wore suits. I can't remember the last time I wore a suit for work, probably just before I was cut open in 2004.
There has been a lot of writing about the new trial to take place in Australia, Amanda has wrote about it on her blog and Nancy (Guest writer on here) has done a cover too.
There are quite a good few articles on this site, but I do like the way they break information down. I don't know what it is anymore, probably my chemo brain, but following medical information seems to be hard work for me these days.
Well I am off to sit on the sofa and catch up with a few TV programs, I can't wait to see what is going to happen in The White Queen. Boy how devious people were in those days, although I wonder what's changed.
Good luck to those having treatment this week, I just wish chemotherapy didn't have to be as harsh on us as it is. One day someone will invent a tablet we take, like a blood pressure type, and mesothelioma will become a chronic rather than terminal disease.
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