Day seven - Ibiza. Time to leave

Waking up yesterday in terrible pain wasn't the best thing to do on holiday.  My back, kidneys, chest, heart and sides ached and hurt.  It was difficult trying to eat my slice of toast, no room down the gullet.

I know each morning has been bad but this was worse.  I was still tired but lying down was so painful I had no choice but to get up.  After 2 hours of no improvement I tried organising getting my stomach drained.  We were scheduled to arrive back Friday, so after emailing and telephoning various individuals I got nowhere.  My mind was racing, what if my stomach got to the point of where I felt the skin was splitting open again, I certainly couldn't cope.  I don't want to go to A&E if possible because they didn't use ultra scan to guide the drain, now that I know the liver is forced from its normal position I am scared they would catch it.  Darlington must be the only place they don't use guided insertion.

Seeing my stress and the fact that once again I am beating at closed doors hubby has said he is going to be assertive from now on and help get things done.  That said we decided to cut the cruise short, so after a lot of calls to our agent we leave today.  I feel guilty doing this but then I didn't expect my body to balloon like this.

I did ask if the medical centre had a ultra scan and could drain my body at guest services, she didn't know and rang the nurse.  Hubby said we don't want to ask them, they will put you on mainland in hospital, which neither of us want.

We went for lunch, the food at lunch to me is the best meal of the day, but I couldn't eat more than a couple of mouthfuls.

We were anchored off shore and believe it or not but it was quite windy at one point, but we set ourselves up on the deck and spent the remainder of the day sunbathing and napping.  I think we came in doors about 7 as the sun was heading down.

Packing didn't take too long, another painkiller then we ordered dinner.  I still only managed a couple of mouthfuls, even hubby with his appetite couldn't eat much.

A movie then bed.  This morning we have pulled into the port I feel so much better than yesterday and am doubting we made the right decision, but then relief at knowing you could get sorted in a day or so can make all the difference.  The doubt won't last long, I have just looked at the rib cage, it is trying to expand, my extra morphine helped during the night.

This is the first time we have ever booked holidays so far in advance, but for cruisers you need to.  Hubby is on about next years but as much as I would like to think we can plan that far, looking at this was a big mistake.  I have enjoyed the sun, we don't get weather like this often in the North East of England.  I have often said if we did I would never leave the garden.  Wish I could get hubby to move somewhere  hot!

We were discussing causes yesterday, my bile has subsided again and I wonder if this toxic chemical that lives in our body could be the cause of irritation.  I know overall the stomach is the worst problem to have but it has been nice not having bile sit at the bottom of my throat and making a burning hole in my chest and stomach.

We have a couple of hours to kill before we leave the plane, the only clothes that will fit are now a pair of leggings, so I doubt I will eventure out into the sun for those last minute rays.

Lou should be through her first run of chemo now, she has had a tough time with it, Mavis has done well with hers.  We are all eagerly waiting the outcome of her 4th line, praying other oncologists will heed this path for others.

See you back in the uk