Yesterday my Macmillan nurse called in early, as she was sat chatting that terrible pain started, I took 60 morphine straight away, it took 20 minutes before it faded in to the back ground, she checked my stats, my oxy had dropped down to 96 but my heart was racing at 127, once the pain settled my 02 had risen to 98 but the heart ad only dropped to 109, my heart s certainly working hard.
After that I did have a pain free day, the second half of the borrowed chair arrived so bedtime will be easier. Before bed I took another tamazepam which helped make me tired, the lift stopped me getting breathless and going to bed was a pleasure. I remember Gary cuddling into me and that was it. I woke at 3.25 wondered whether I needed to visit the loo, but no I told myself to go back to sleep. Next thing it was 7.45, time to get up. No pain!
My colleague from work was coming at 10 and I needed to shower and wash my damp sweaty hair, which I actually managed. As soon as Claire left Gary had my clothes out ready to change. Today was his first day at pushing me in the wheelchair. We even managed to get a disabled space outside the hospital door, the area I had to go to was the furthest away in Darlington Hospital, there would be no way I could have walked it. For his first time handling it he did so well, we didn't run anyone down!
My pericardium has fluid, so far it doesn't impede the top muscle that holds the heart, although there is quite an increase in the volume since the last one last year. I do hate it when they put the sound on and you can hear it beating. Also my heart isn't where every one else's is anymore so I had to lie strangely for him to get a good scan. I asked about flying for 8 hours, I could tell by his face he didn't think any flying was a good idea but said he would discuss after I got dressed.
He discussed the speed of my heart, how he could drain the fluid if the volume starts to cause problems and flying. If the chemo works maybe 4 hours max, but this will be revised, Gary said no way would we risk it, I reminded him we flew all over when I had it before but didn't know, he said it was different then! I know that I will need some warmth on my bones by April latest. At least I know he may be able to use a needle to withdraw the fluid, now I will need to monitor if I have those heart attach pains so we know if the fluid is managing to still drain on its own. He also discussed the high levels of my RBC, if my blood gets to thick, this will stop helping me, at the moment my body is trying to make ways to help my body.
Then we went into town, I asked Gary for a pair of earrings for Christmas, he took me to D&H Jewellers in Queens Arcade, Gary bought my tennis ball bracelet and earrings from here last year. Me and jewellery i'm like a child in a sweet shop. I could have bought so much stuff and he barters a bit too. I found the perfect earrings, we even had a cup of tea as we discussed them then Gary had me try on a tennis ball necklace, big mistake as once I tried it on I didn't want to take it off but I felt guilty, it was pricey but oh so beautiful. More chatter, they know I have cancer from his previous visits. I said I just wanted something I can wear all the time, they said I could wear this all the time. What can I tell you, he bought me it. I told him to wrap it for Christmas but he said no wear it now and get the pleasure from it.
My gp text to ask where I was so I said we would be home for 3, I didn't realise we had spent so much time in the shop and it was 2.44, I needed to go to Boots so off we set back to the car and Boots. It was the only place his L plates were needed! It was wonderful being out and seeing people, such a different view from the wheelchair. We had to call at the chemist too so as we pulled in my GP was just parking, he saw us and came over. He was thrilled I looked so well, we discussed my appointment and chemo again tomorrow. We then popped in work so I could post a letter and my other colleague Ann came to see me. For once I heard some good news, her husband has been given a full time contract at the job he has been doing for an agency for over a year. His contract ran out on 17/12 so now he will be permanent, the joy of this news brought tears to my eyes. Her future is once again secure, what a lovely Christmas present for them.
So after such a busy day I am shattered, I am in one way hoping that it was the chemo killing the meso so I wonder if this Saturday/Sunday I will experience the same. One side effect I am having. My left foot goes numb and my right hand keeps going funny, my little finger keeps pulling to the right and tingles etc.
To my fellow fighters, it is hard going fighting this and to our carers, we can never thank you enough for the care and love you bestow on us, all of it unconditionally.
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