Road to Recovery

It's still strange waking up on a morning realising that the crushing pain in your chest is not a sign of getting ill but a sign that your body is getting better from surgery. Yes its only 8 weeks and this week I've been nearly normal in my activities, I drove to work, I spent 3 mornings at work and my rest period had dropped right down. That was until today, I overslept and after a drive out with hubby found that I needed to have a good lie down for what turned out to be 2.5 hours!

Over the last week I have also spoken to a few different people about meso and what treatments are out there. I wish I knew all the answers and be able to point them in the right direction, hence again I think we need a proper monitored Meso only site for doctors and sufferers both to post information on what is out there.

B & H felt concerned that they had helped talk me into going down the operation route and after reading the blog and how I explained my experience they felt guilty, as I said to them, I talked myself into it and took information from everyone I met, and for the record even though I know what I went through was terrible for week 1 to 2 and the worst day of my life was Day 1, I would still go through this.

Maybe I shouldn't be so opinionated by saying if your not physically or mentally fit its not the operation for you, and for that I apologies but I was expressing my opinion only. I spoke with another lady yesterday and it makes me want to cry when you find out that they are in the sticks and information isn't so readily at hand for the Doctors who treat her. I had an email today and I can't believe this couple lost their daughter at 12 yes that's 12 years old to meso, how as parents do they deal with something like that, together with the fact that this blows the dormant factor right out of the window.

I've wrote so many times how lucky I have been, finding out about cryo bought me plenty of time to find out about the operation. The operation should (if all goes well) buy me lots of time to spend with hubby and dogs, but how do you handle talking to someone who won't be able to buy that time because the cancer is far into the interior. How many oncologists say "Its a localised disease and doesn't move outside the lung\chest" to find out 2 months later that the cancer has moved on and your too late for operations (in this country) as the cancer has got into your Kidney, liver or lympnodes, as at the end of the day it will only give you pallative care and surgery isn't always the pallative you would wish for. I remember an oncologist telling me cryo won't work as it was a localised treatment, funny how the same guy told me meso was a localised cancer!

Time is ticking and I can feel that tiredness sneaking overme, ready for a lie down. I had brought some work home with the hope I'd get something done but I haven't looked at the box, think I'll just pop in the office tomorrow, if all are clear of bugs.

As my American Saviour keeps telling me Axe the China Man

Goodnight