Saturday Blues

I can't believe its Saturday already and another week has flown by, must admit I didn't go into work either. I managed to get a cold, hubby isn't happy with me for picking this up and everytime I sniff I get shouted out either to go and blow or cough it up! I think I understand man's flu now.

Our Doc called in while out on is cycling and has decided I need antibotics for this, so Hubby was right and I was wrong.

Its my nieces 18th tonight but we won't be able to go, too many people, I'll probably fall asleep, my back might get caught and I must be sensible. I must admit I don't fancy having a bop but it would have been a nice change to do something other than feel sorry for myself.

My other problem at the moment is that I look so well that those around me think I'm fit and ready to take on the world, in my eyes I look drawn, grey and heading towards 60 instead of 50.

After I called in the office this morning and ended up spending two hours filing away bits of paper, I came home and sat with hubby, he made the mistake of asking how I was, I mean really was. I poured out that I didn't really know if how I felt was normal, I know its only 9 weeks and 2 days but surely I should be more energised than I am. This dizzyness is back, I get back pain for no reason, I'm mentally tired because I'm physically drained, going to bed is a relief yet sometimes torture, how do you round up all those thoughts and feelings. You can't exactly pinpoint the pain because your back is still numb, the main thing is that I am still pleased I went through this. Everyone talks of quality, my quality isn't that good right now, but my quantity, hopefully, is more than 3 nonths, which is more than expected if I'd gone without surgery and quality would have dropped in the final months so I haven't lost anything that way.

I'm doing another interview, this one's for The Sun, they've asked me not to speak to anyother national newspaper until they have published. Maybe I should have asked for some cash which could have then gone onto MKMRF as you know Chris and crew don't get any funding and rely on donations to keep running.

Am I pleased to unload that now I might find my inner strength will come forward, brush me down and kick me back into Action.

Axe the China Man