It is nearly 3 years since I put my body and myself through the 9 hour gruelling operation to clear my chest of mesothelioma. Ok the meso didn't hold up its end of the bargain by staying away but my body certainly worked to get on top of the intrusion, learning to live with an air leak and fluid and not forgetting that membrane which replaces the pericardium and diaphragm. Not forgetting the stress and anxiety my hubby went through wondering whether I would make it out of surgery, then out of hospital etc. I will celebrate the 15th, even though the meso is back it hasn't won yet and in time another war will begin to try and hold it back.
I jumped on the scales and am now at a healthy 9st 4, that is 16 lbs I have put on and I am no longer scraggy looking, only problem is I could do with staying at 9st because extra weight brings about more to carry around and extra work on the heart. I know under today's standards that would still be underweight but I was normally around this. I look healthy, even though my finger nails are still heavily ridged and flaky, my hair has thickened up, only taken 4 years! To me this means all the tramua of surgery, chemo and cryo is finally out of my system and the body has relaxed back at feeling normal. Shame the meso is back in there, otherwise I would be on top of the world.
My 3rd Boob has become more annoying since I last wrote and then last Tuesday night I had a Flight or Fight session again. After sitting so long in the office, Bear had the front door wide open, I most have got cold on my back, it went right into the core of me. Neither the bath or hot water bottle could warm me up, then it started, so I knocked myself out with meds, Wednesday I didn't see work as I was worn out but at least the session had gone, I also think I missed my pain killers on Tuesday morning so a touch of Cold Turkey as well?
I have told myself that I am not chasing the meso this year, I need a rest from worrying about it but I know that should things progress I will do something if possible, I just can't help it. There are so many of us out there at the moment with slow progression who have tried so much and done so much to hold it back and each time we think we are ahead of it the meso smacks us back to reality - it will never die.
I think we are still in for a rough weather front ahead, the birds around our house are emptying 9 containers of seed every 2 days, not only do the Blue Tit's knock on the window now to remind us to fill them but now so are the rest of the collection. Personally I would be happy if the winds would go so I can join hubby and the dogs over the fields.
That's all from me today, just one quick note, I hope Tom is doing ok at the Bahamas Centre, when I get my memory into gear I will post the website address, but first I want to see if he benefits first.
Good luck to us all with Meso, let this year be the one we all have remission and keep the meso down.
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