Thursday, 16 April 2009

In Memory of Linda

On Easter Monday a friend of mine lost her battle against cancer, she has done nothing but fight this disease for 4 years.

Linda was one of those people that always had a smile, laughed a lot and lifted a dull atmosphere into a lighter and brighter one. I rang her two weeks before she died, the oncologist had told her that there was nothing more to be done, the tumour was now inside her liver and into her bones.

I sent her information from the Mayo clinic as they treat advanced breast cancer, although her breast was clear it was in other parts of her body. It is amazing that pathologists can breakdown the cells and know what type it is.

We laughed and joked on the telephone about fighting this disease, how they had had a fantastic holiday in South Africa on a cruise, she had only been home a couple of days when she started having problems and I thought it was a gall stone stuck in the duct (telephone call previously).

When I went to America Linda rang me everyday last August to make sure I was okay, I haven't physically seen Linda since June 2007, so you can imagine how bad I feel. I had kept promising we would go up and visit as she was constantly on chemo until before this Christmas. Its great having phone calls and keeping in touch but it isn't the same as being face to face.

I am sure the family are grateful that it was only the last week of her life that the pain was unbearable. Her husband was unable to touch her or lift her without Linda screaming out in pain. On Monday morning when she awoke she said to her husband 'I think today is my last one'.

One of our last conversations was when do we stop fighting and give up, I had said to her 'we aren't made of the stuff to give up, but yes there comes a time when we have to stop fighting' I didn't realise that time had come for Linda.

It's down to Linda that I started to look at RFA and ended up going for cryo-ablation in America, so you can imagine that this has hit me hard. I surely would have died long before Linda had she not set me off on this direction.

I can only hope that there is life on the other side, and God takes only the good ones first. I cannot allow myself to believe that once we die that's it, we have learnt so much to become nothing.

Linda will always be in my thoughts and nothing will ever fill the void that she has left.

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