Thursday, 3 June 2010

Chest pains and big bears

I know I don't know how I dare complain when everyone is going through such a tough time but since that episode that put me in hospital for a night my heart has been acting up.  Maybe it is because I know the pointer on the ECG went down instead of up, and to be honest I didn't really take the Doc that seriously on the ward when she said she wasn't happy for me to leave but then it was a weekend and nothing gets done in hospitals over that period so she kindly let me go.

Yet over the past 3 weeks I have had this heaviness in my heart, strange really as my other pains seem to have stepped back while this one takes centre stage.  My breathing has been fine, my heart area seems to hurt the most on a morning and by early evening it isn't as prominent but still there. 

Have managed to make an appointment with my GP so maybe he will give some light to this, and of course I have an echo graph coming up next week .... I wonder if my downstroke will have become normal again.

I have had some good news today, Chris S has responded well to his second cycle of Alimta and has had shrinkage.  Chris was diagnosed with me back in 2004 and with a little blip a few years ago where he had radiotherapy, this has been his only real treatment since 2004 when we first went on Alimta together.  It is always uplifting to here things are going well.

I haven't heard from Hilary and am worried, I have text but at times like this I know she has more to do than email or text me back.  I just hope a miracle has happened and her husband is gaining some strength and fighting this infection.

The sunshine is wonderful, although Bear has taken to lying in the kitchen across the threshold so getting in and out is near impossible, he is nearly as tall as me when he lifts onto his hind legs, can't believe this little puppy has become such a large dog in 8 months and he still has some growth to come.  The only downside of the breed is his slobbering, it gets everywhere.  Have tried teaching him to wipe his mouth but he thinks a towel is to play with and ends up playing tug of war.  This morning he had me up at 5.40 I could hear him scratching at the door and when I came down he had removed quite a lot of plaster from the wall as well.  Once he's awake he wants the whole household up then he goes off into a corner and goes back to sleep!  I wonder how he will get on when he moves rooms again.  I had hoped on giving him the free run of the house, we have tried several times, but he is up and down the stairs, barks at the bottom of the bed then flings himself ontop of us.  I can't remember this with any of our other dogs, so we are leaving him in the kitchen at the moment, which is a cooler room as it doesn't get that much sun.  But once the build is finished the new kitchen will be light and so will the utility room, I had hoped he would move out into the hall and what will become the office but as he likes removing plaster from the walls I don't think it will happen.

I had hoped on going to a new meso meeting which takes place in Washington but with the builders in and hubby at the dentist it proved not to be again this month.  I hope Dan gives me the reminder again for the next one.

My CT Scans will finally be ready for collection tomorrow so then comes the nightmare of getting one sent off to Dr Abtin and then the wait to see what he makes of the changes.  I only hope that he was wrong with the last one and the nodule he says has grown to 16mm isn't there or if it is it hasn't grown any further.  I really am at the point of I don't know what to believe, especially after the Chest Doc in hospital said it was growing and what did I expect.  There again on the phone this morning Chris reminded me that I am nearly 50 and in 04 and no one really thought I would get here, yet I still have a lot of living to do and will not be resting on my hunkers, to keep alive is to keep fighting.

Wish I could get my appetite to do that, my weight has dropped again, 8.12 now, seems even a sandwich fills me to bloated, thank God for lunchtime cereal.  I have decided to try and get back into milk shakes, especially with it being summer, at least they are a meal with all that milk.  No doubt some doctor somewhere will shake their heads and remind me to drink skimmed milk - not likely full bodied milk is the only one I like.  Have also being checking my BP it is still around the 95\60 something else to chat about with the Doc as I am certainly not athletic. 

Enough of my grumblings, I do often wonder if my rambling about pains etc actually puts another sufferer at ease, at least if they have the same problems then they know it is normal for the condition!  There again I guess not that many have been through as much varied treatment, radiotherapy, cryoblation, chemotherapy and two lots of major surgery, obviously the last one being dramatic surgery.  When you meet a new doctor they are so interested in the false heart sac, diaphragm and the thought that your lung and chest wall have been stripped, cleaned and you are still here to tell the tale.

On that note I will end the blog, thoughts go out to the circle and I hope all is well with you.

Don't forget the factor 30 or 50 on your drainsites!!

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