Sunday, 25 July 2010

Home safe and sound

We were both looking forward to getting some restful sleep on this short holiday to celebrate that big 50, I don't know why I am so unlucky as the weather wasn't that good (so much for the south of England getting much better weather than us up north!) and the hotel beds were rock hard.

As I now sleep on my operation side waking up wasn't pleasurable at all.  I haven't ached badly for quite a while now but that all changed on Thursday morning where my ribs ached.  I didn't think they still made beds with hard straw and no give!  Even poor hubby ached from the uncomfortable bed and had a couple of bad nights sleep.

As it turned out my brother and his family flew out too to join us so my big night was a close knit affair, although the poor maitre-d probably hated us as we upset his table seating twice.  At first I thought there was only my brother and his wife but then the girls came too.  So 5 went to 7 then to 9.  Luckily we got seated in a corner totally away from the rest of the diners.  Hubby footed the bill for over priced but extremely nice champagne but I was annoyed at my brother as my birthday gift from my friends was the meal and he went and paid!  Guess I will have to wait and see what they now get me.

On Friday morning I didn't feel that good and no it wasn't the champagne, but that sickly feeling wasn't pleasant so when everyone was up in the pool (indoor because of the weather) I went back to bed to try and sleep through the feeling.  Thankfully I did get back up just in time for breakfast, 9.55am I actually sat down and ate something.

So far I haven't had any lung problems so I am confident that the flight hasn't caused any further growth to my air pocket.  Might just get to Dubai in September, any problems after this flight and hubby said never again would we be flying .. so fingers crossed nothing happens over the next few days.

I surprised myself at the amount of energy I managed to muster so we could do things.  On Thursday the weather wasn't that great so we went to the Jersey Tunnels then the heavens opened and it rained but within 30 minutes it had dried up and we went off to the Durrell conservation Trust.  Lorraine loves Gorilla's and it was wonderful seeing them, and we even spotted a couple of Bears, the proper variety!  By evening the sun was shining and the temperature came over the 19 mark.  Shame we came home on Friday as the weather was coming back to being hot and sunny, we landed home and it has been cloudy, guess it follows me.

Lorraine and Chris brought some photo's of us over the years and I couldn't believe how much I had changed and they hadn't but to look at me you would never know the scale of medical intervention I have had and that is a bonus.

Once again I am back to contemplating whether its time to leave work completely and spend my precious time with hubby and the dogs.  I hadn't realised my youngest niece had just sat her GCSE's because of my operation year I keep missing out a year in everyone's life.  I know that 2009 was probably the most important in keeping me alive yet its the year I can never really recall anything in.  I put that down to 3 months at home and all that anesthetic they use to keep you under, my memory is now shocking so that's my excuse.

I am pleased to say that my three friends on Alimta at the moment are doing well.  Although Danny tells me he isn't feeling a full benefit from it yet I know he will.  Although when I was on the stuff I suffered so badly with the side effects that I wouldn't notice any improvement until the damn stuff was completely over and done with.   Maybe there will be a breakthrough and another chemo will be on the market, after all many of us who had Alimta will need a different drug in the future if we have to go down that route.  I for one will not be allowed to have it again because it nearly killed me and that isn't the aim of the game.

I bought a lotto ticket this weekend in the hope that I could win and invest a load of money into trying to find treatment that could be supported in this country but my numbers didn't come up.  If I won I would like to get a CT Scan put in a local hospital here, get Dr Abtin to come and train a radiologist and then have cryo on the menu of treatments too without people having to travel to the States, I know its a pipe dream but we all have to have them.  I bet if I did win enough to do it the red tape and hassle would ensure it never happened but where there is hope ...

... just like the sun finally shining on us!

Don't forget to Thank your body for keeping you going!

A delighted fifty year old who hasn't pushed up the daisies

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