Sunday, 4 July 2010

A Week goes by

Action Day came and went and I thought disappointingly, our local paper had nothing in about it, the national I read never mentioned it but I did see an article from the BLF regarding smoking in cars.  Who decided to change the date to the beginning of July and even more so for the first one when the World Cup is On.  No publicity is bad, Action Day reminds others that there is a nasty evil cancer out there.

For me this week has flown, I had to fast on Wednesday for my blood tests which the Doc wanted.  It is kind of a yearly check up regardless of whether you have seen your GP a day, week or month ago.  Problem I found was again I have lost weight (I haven't been on our scales for a couple of weeks because I dreaded the readout saying another 1lb down).  So I saw a Dietitian\feed you up woman on Friday morning.  My instructions to mix double cream in with my coffee, drink full fat milk, eat butter on bread, but what made my ears prick up was the fact that anyone struggling with food in take on chemo is suppose to see a dietitian while on treatment ... mmmmm missed that one twice!

My cholesterol was high at 6 last year so I guess by the time I manage to put 1 lb on and keep it on for one whole month my cholesterol will be at 8!  I must admit I would prefer to bang some much desired weight on, when you are thin every line shows .. (Vanity), seriously though my arms look like that of my mothers who is 84.  I was watching Twiggy the other day and thought how does she look that good and where does she get all that energy from, if I do get some weight one the lady told me I will have more energy, concentration will improve and my enzymes will come back, which I probably don't have, in my stomach.  Although I don't eat junk food or fast food I do have a sweet tooth and yet I still loose weight.  The amount of fruit gums I eat I should be 12 stone plus not 8.10 and believe me at 5'8" I look like a bean pole.  Yet upto the age of 24 I was just under 9 stone but I wasn't thin like this!!  Lorraine and Chris came up on Friday to sort out what we are taking away and wearing for my big birthday so they routed through my wardrobe making me try one thing on after another, everything hung off me, even those tight little numbers you buy and tell yourself you will slim down for it, hung with too much space to fill.  I felt deflated, together with the disappeared chest and what remains goes totally south, the only dress that fitted exposed my scar to much and the thought of going shopping for more clothes isn't one of my favourite things.  I will probably end up in a pair of jeans while they are dressed up to the nines, who cares I am still here and at least able to celebrate it.

The build is finally getting there and the end is nigh, by August the house should be back together and life can resume to its normal self.  Infact should things go down hill in the future we are all ready for me if I need to use a wheelchair, not that I want that day to come unless I am 80 and struggling with old age.

For the first time in years I actually stayed up late, I think I turned in about 11.30 but am paying the price today, at about 4pm yesterday i could have closed my eyes and had a nap but I pulled through.  To celebrate the roof not letting in water again I had a few B & C's .. okay 3 and ended up watching some recorded TV.  I did have a good deep sleep but am totally knackered today.  My plans of ironing, washing, cleaning, staining the skirting boards and doors went out of the window, but I have enjoyed the day.  The weather is wonderful with sunshine and heat.

We haven't taken mutley's out tonight for their walk so we have two sulking dogs but neither of us have the energy ... hubby has been moving topsoil along with barrow loads of wall stoning, gardening and yesterday helping me stain wood, clean up after the workmen etc and his back and knee have gone.  No doubt Bear will be a pain all night and sleep will not be easy.  Although it's Lexi that is pacing at the moment and whining.

The pain is still doing well and I am over the moon with the progress of my left side, just wish my centre chest would start feeling better and the breathlessness I am starting to get when I bend is driving me insane.  That was something else I learnt this week, breathlessness or laboured breathing causes you to loose weight as it takes more energy to get your lungs moving ...

On a last note, hubby bought tickets for Leona Lewis as a surprise for my birthday and we were scammed, he bought them from the WorldWide Ticket Store, mainly because he was tempted with the champagne and canopies on arrival etc.  I picked up the Sunday post at mam's and on page 2 there was a big article about how lots of us were taken in by the website.  (I was looking  to see if Action Day had been covered in Scotland .. no).

So with that note I wish you all a good week, I hope the Tennis has kept Lyn happy this week because the football was such a disappointment!

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