Sunday, 7 June 2009

Mesothelioma and Medicine

I know another week has gone by and for those who are recovering from operations or chemotherapy its wonderful to know you are another week through the pain and the side effects from the chemo as well as becoming more like your old self.

Last week I was quite down and by Sunday evening hubby decided to look at the leaflet that came with the Duxolatine, (the nerve damage tablets), and highlighted 8 of the side effects and a possible 4 others. The dose had been doubled to 120mg a day and obviously the side effects stood out because the dose is so high. I Must admit I had no pain at all in my side the entire time I took this amount, so the morphine wasn't been used for breakthrough. So Sunday night I didn't take a one and have started to feel a little better, at least on Monday I could cope with the sunshine!

I remember the second time I had to go through Chemo. I never thought I would need to have it again, I was so sure that I was different and the Chemo had worked in 2005 and killed the cancer for good. Unfortantly that didn't happen and in Sept 07 I was back on the stuff again. I know that some people handle it really well and don't get as ill as I did. I started writing my story about chemo but I found it quite emotional, my friends keep asking me to finish it but in some ways this blog has become my story, whether its read by only me or not doesn't matter. A few people keep telling me to write a book but I would prefer the humourous to the serious and I'm not sure I could do it. So please (if I do have readers) ignore me now and again when I start going off on one.

Any way as I was saying I started writing my story but didn't finish it, why? because I started writing it at one of my lowest points, and on chemo you tend to find as you go through the course you do get lower and lower, but it was good to read and I would recommend anyone on Chemo to try and write down your feelings so when your well you can go back and see what you have gone through and how well you are doing.

I wish I had set up a video diary or something, more so after this operation, because I forget how bad I was and then when I start whinzing about not improving I could see how bad I was and how far I have come.

We went out to dinner on Friday night with the couple we should have gone on holiday with. They haven't seen me for months and were so pleased that I looked so well. Even I thought I looked well. The evening ended at 9.30 so I would be home by 10 and in bed by 10 past.

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