Friday, 31 December 2010

Ring in the Year

I just had a peep at what I wrote last New Year and believe it or not I haven't done anything that I said I would try and do.  I do keep procrastinating I have come to think this is normal for everyone not just me. 

 I had an email over Christmas from an old colleague who had prostrate cancer last year and I promised to visit, he is now back abroad working! 
Going to more meso meetings - haven't managed one this year
Doing more with friends - hum
Working Less - kind of achieved

But seriously we all treat life the same, we make demands on ourselves that we just don't keep, we promise ourselves we will find time, but time doesn't slow down infact I am finding it goes faster.  I use to be able to accomplish all sorts of things during the day, these days it takes me 90 minutes to pull round on a morning, if I had to rush I don't know what I would do.  I guess age also comes into it but I am only 50 and should be a lot fitter than that.

I am so lucky to still be alive and I do count my blessings about that but sometimes I don't act like it.  I hate pain and I hate mornings when I wake up and feel crap-my mam says she feels like that everyday but she's 84.  After having her stay for a couple of days it frightened me, am I as negative as she is.  It was hard work with her and I hope that I'm not so hard to deal with should my health take a downward turn.

To ease my pains the last couple of nights I have taken temazepam to relax my muscles and  have woke up with less pain which in turns makes me feel much brighter, albeit, I rose much later than usual.  I don't want to go down the route of taking tablets to feel fitter on a morning but they certainly helped me yesterday.

I remember when I use to go through my 3 monthly sessions and I dreaded the thought of coping with them in my elderly years and I use to wonder how people with joint pains carry on day in and day out, but you have no choice.  Life is so precious yet what do we really do with it? 

My cousin never wanted to live over 50, unfortunately she got her wish and died at 49, she said she never wanted to get old, I on the other hand don't want to be old and in agony but I do want to get old.  The thought of not being with hubby and the dogs, watching the snow fall or sitting in the sun reading a good book is unthinkable but I am still not doing enough with my life.

On that note lets hope that 2011 is the year that I actually start to do more and accomplish all those things I never seem to find time for.

Wishing you all a healthy and happy 2011

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