Thursday, 17 November 2011

The week

Thanks to those who have voted for Jeff, I am sure he will appreciate it when I let him know.

I have been in communication with a lovely lady in the States this week who's husband was diagnosed just 2 months ago.  They don't want to do the standard chemo route and are looking at alternative ways.  She very kindly gave me the address of a trial he is currently on which is still open for enrolment.  I know it is in the USA but this is the title

Pilot Study of Bisphosphonate Therapy (Zoledronic Acid) in Patients With Malignant Mesothelioma (UAB 0901)

I actually contacted the co-coordinator and have been invited to enter if I clear all the tests. If it wasn't for flying I would certainly give it a go.  I did surf the net and tried to see if someone in the UK was running it but no luck so far.

There seems to be a lot more trials now in the USA than ever before and I wonder if this is something to do with the Twin Towers?

I myself am not so great, I don't know whether its the cold weather, the flu jab, both or the meso or maybe not the meso but because I got the scan imagining its the meso.  My back feels like the little pea is sticking further in and my chest itself feels heavier.  I have noticed I seem to have a little more pain when I have done the stairs and need to take a moment before jumping in the shower after the climb on a morning.

I am hoping to see Dr Owens through the NHS shortly to see about the last scan and My 3rd Boob.  I don't know what he will make of it and depending on the time of the day and what I have been upto whether the thing will be big or small on the outside of the ribs.  I don't think he will remove it but there is no harm in trying.

Having caught up on other meso blogs as I was saddened to hear that Anita had died, it seems at the moment that quite a few of us 'old timers' are having a hard time of it at the moment, and I say 'old' being the length of time we have had this cancer active within our bodies.

I think that shortly I will have to make a decision on what I am going to do, I hope that maybe I can get on the ADAMS trial in London if they accept me or if nothing else is available, but it does worry me having the placebo because that could have been time wasted not having treatment to hold back the cancer.  It is such a crux in the mind.  I am totally back to living in the 3 month cycle, if it grows more than 5mm next time then thats over 3 cm in places and I don't have 3cm worth of lung.  You know how your mind works!

Last week I deleted a whole load of code from one of my databases by accident - nearly 2 weeks of writing gone (which was done 4 years ago) - but for some strange reason yesterday I remembered my network home directory is now backed up and this was stored on it!  See stupid mistakes and forgetfulness will not do - hubby is telling me that I am run down and need a rest, and I keep responding that its not even cold yet so how will I survive when winter sets in, will my one brain cell completely freeze up.  Stranger still is the worry over the last couple of days that my bones are aching because of the meso not because I could be coming down with a cold.  See my imagination is running wild!  My blood pressure is on the low side too so that's why I am having dizziness when I bend down .. I am totally dropping to pieces.

Had better attempt those stairs and get in the shower, time will wait for no man and I have a busy schedule today, lets hope the brain cell can deal with it!

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