Sunday, 26 August 2012

Eight Wonderful Years Gone - hope Eight more to Go

My friend  has stayed with me since I was a child
I didn't know it then as it slept quietly inside.
Once awake it never sleeps
No matter what I do
Taunting me with false hope
it still stays consuming my life

It isn't only just my friend
it has attached itself to so many others
ruining once charmed and happy homes,
destroying relationships, bringing tears
striking fear into our very souls.

It has created some thing it didn't expect
a unity of many, an army of warriors.
It's once fickle friendship is not mine alone
many it has befriended, I now know

It didn't introduce us how a friend would do
It didn't want to be named
concealed deep within
Once known, its name can never be forgotten
Nor will those it cast it's eye upon and claimed

Our mutual friendships have developed
We all share the need of Hope
Some comrades have fallen
Our Friend claiming them for its own.

Beware my unwanted friend
United we stand until you fall
That day will bring such Joy
Your days of friendship will come to an end
Until then Meso, take the hint
and go to H***.

I didn't know what to right today, it isn't a great day, we are all terminal from the day we are born but we expect to expire from our life with a nice heart attack around 85, our feet up in front of the fire, or passing in a nice deep sleep.  When you are told your day's are numbered and in 04 days were really numbered, the stats gave you less than a year, many less than 3 months.  This wasn't a cancer they expected to find in people under 70, it had been around for a long time but in the civilised world it seemed to strike the elder first, how easy to put it under COPD.  Then the age started to get younger, no longer was it a man starting his job and the meso coming to life 40 years later, it was on overalls that affected his children from the day they were born.
When my dad left Bakerlite, where he use to walk through asbestos regularly, he started up a garage.  Brake shoes and the like, we spent our summer holidays playing at the garage, I was six when he left Bakerlite did I get it from his overalls then or from when we were kids in the garage.  Either way asbestos should never have been there.  Nothing that can't be killed should ever be released on the world.  Nature has the right to destroy us and by its choice only not by us taking nature into our own hands.
On a light and nice note, I wanted to get a nice pic of Lexi and Bear coming down the ramp from their walk, so I laid on the floor at the bottom of the ramp, camera in focus.  Bear saw me lying on the ground and before hubby had the ramp in position he jumped over the top, thankfully hubby was able to catch him and break what could have been a nasty fall.  I didn't give it a thought that the dog might think I was ill!  My camera, well it went flying along with the ramp and I didn't get a shot of the dogs just drool covering my hair!
I hope you have a good Bank Holiday and to all those on treatment, I truly hope the side effects aren't making you too ill.
I hope I'm still here to say Its Nine years and then 10.  If they had opened me up in 2002 I often wonder if I would still be here, Alimta wasn't freely available then so probably I was lucky they didn't discover my meso then and I had two blissful but extremely painful years of being ignorant of the fact.

1 comment:

Debbie said...

You described that beautifully Jan.
Som long has meso been a silent disease but now it has nowhere to hide. Thank you my friend for putting the words to the vision in my mind x x x