Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Miracle for Me!

Nothing can put a blot on my landscape today, even the snow that fell all night and has brought that northeasterly wind with it.  Why?  Yesterday I had such surprising and wonderful news, in fact I am still in shock.  My scan was taken last Tuesday, my new pains had already become a part of my life, and I was expecting

     "the meso has become aggressive, chemotherapy was probably a bad idea, the growth
      pattern is everywhere"

instead a shocked oncologist said

     "I can't believe it you have shrinkage and reduction and I mean not just one little bit but

He now has decided that any further treatment will be discussed with J Steele at St Barts and my oncologist is willing to take a further interest in keeping me going.  Maybe another low dose of Alimta as maintenance or maybe a blast of them both, with careful consideration, at a later date.  If that does happen mind, I will ask to be treated at James Cook, forget keeping the local ward open, the area and atmosphere will never change there.
So we were blown away, he can't explain the new pains, or the fact I have had to increase the morphine, hubby believes its because the pressure from the nerves has been released and not used to having so much weight lifted from them.

One thing I did notice, but can't say anything to hubby, is that he said the last scan showed growth everywhere, yet last time he said it was slow growing and only in certain places.  No wonder we get lost off on what to believe or not.  I will request a copy of the scan and for once instead of sending it for others to read,  hang it on the wall like a BAFTA award.

Seriously though, I think I may ask a radiologist to go through it with me, I met one when I was having my insides looked at so maybe it might be worth asking.

We, of course, were going to celebrate with a bottle of champers but by the time we had tea, ok we got a take away, I was full and tired and hubby looked ready for bed.  I don't get anxious about the results but he does, his adrenalin must have been pumping like shell oil, through his veins, so he was totally wrecked and ready to collapse.  We had a glass of wine instead but still clinked glasses and are looking to a bright future.

No more discussions about the scan now with him until the next one is due, I did say he was getting better but the door to discussing mesothelioma has been truly slammed shut again.

The workforce are all suffering with various bugs, yesterday I worked from home because the wind and rain put me off stepping over the threshold, today I was ordered to work from home in case I pick anything up.  So I have the log fire burning, my feet are toast and the birds are pecking at the food on the windowsill, I doubt I will get much work done!

On that happy note I will leave you with the picture of this morning from our front door

Keep warm and bug free .....

1 comment:

Anne said...

I am so pleased for you. Pleased. What an inadequate word for something so wonderful. I am sorry your husband won't talk about it with you. I had the same with John. I think he was trying to protect me. I often think about how he must have felt - but don't really know. Was he scared. Was he in tremendous pain. I wish he had shared with me.

Once again. I'm delighted for you. X