Saturday, 27 July 2013

A New Day

After the terrible start to yesterday I finally got out and sat in the warmth but under the clouds!  My GP arrived at 1 to check on me and my tummy.  I would be lost without him as he does more than most doctors I know.

It took a while to get comfortable and I was pleased that Bear finally stopped wanting to be by my side and disappeared into the brick shed in the garden.  He loves it there as the floor is concrete and the building doesn't get any sun. 
I have heard from Mary in the USA, she has contacted Prof Fennel and he has a couple of options for me to think about, so once the stomach is down I hope to revisit him and maybe get something that will push me forward and keep me alive for a good few years to come.
A lot of people have left words of support and comfort over the last couple of days, it does make a difference when you know someone else is going through the same but can take the time to wish you well or pass any information they may have.  Most of my fellow bloggers are doing well at the moment and I hope they all continue to do so.  Good news lifts us all and reminds us that we can keep going.  Lou has an important meeting on Monday and I pray they offer her something useful too.
My darkest thoughts came to the forefront of my mind yesterday.  I was frightened and thought if this is what life had to offer I didn't want to be apart of it.  Today I am back on the ladder climbing up.
I can't believe my stomach looks like this though, Bear was pushing through my legs when hubby took the picture.

I feel for all those mothers to be in this heat carrying such a weight.
I have lost 4 lbs in total, but the stomach hasn't shrunk any since leaving hospital.  I do need it to go further down so I can at least fit in to my trousers.  I know you can buy bigger sizes but then they will hang on my bum and legs.
I didn't sweat last night but I did go to the bathroom a couple of times during the night.  Come on fluid get sucked out of the body and back into the blood stream so I can pass you out through my bladder!
I have heard that many people have problems with stomachs like this and have to have them drained regularly.  I would hate to think I had to go through that pain every other week.  Although my GP was shocked they didn't insert the drain under Ultra Scan guidance instead of just marking the spot.
Mavis is currently on a chemotherapy called Gemcitabine, this has been used as standard in Australia for approx. 18 years with good results so I can't understand why we can't use it here as a back up for those who have had Almita twice.  Although my problem is the platins they use as agents.  I wonder why they couldn't mix Almita and Gemcitabine together?
To be honest, I just want the stomach to go, I can cope with the meso growing at a slow rate but I can't cope with this.  It is putting so much pressure on my ribs, chest and back.  I have lifted the MST to 160 morning and night, maybe why I woke up without as much pain.
On that note I am off in the shower, there is a slight breeze picking up outside and I really would like to go with the dogs. 
Hope everyone else is having a good start to the day, I feel for those on chemo at the moment and those who are in hospices.  We forget what our partners go through sometimes maybe one day we should have a carers day, like a mother's day, to say thank you for being there.

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