Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Awaiting News

Finally the scan was done on Monday morning now as we all know its the waiting time for the results that is a killer, I hope I have the same results as A and D and that the meso is staying away.  What a waste if the bloody thing is growing yet I am looking on the bright side I wouldn't be here if I hadn't done all the things I've been through to keep alive.

I have often wondered if I had gone the route of Debbie in 08 and chosen the chemo-embolisation if things would be different but it is always difficult to tell.  The problem is that we still don't know which is the best treatment or path to follow.  I do know that if I hadn't had the cryo back in August 08 I could never have gone through with surgery as the meso would have been in the kidney and surgery would have been too late.

I can't believe this time last year I was oblivious to what was to come, its 11 months since Dr Edwards removed my insides, it has been hard at times but like everything else you forget how bad it was and get on with living.

Life is so special yet everyday we take it for granted that we should wake up, go to work (or whatever) and be happy.  We put our bodies through all sorts and don't think about it.  When I was younger and needed surgery for endo I would go in and expect to be back at work within a couple of days (and usually was) but as you get older you just don't seem to bounce back the same. I should feel guilty saying such a thing as when you hear about little old ladies going in and getting their hips replaced at 80 it makes you think!

Bear is a handful and has such a little cheeky character.  I dropped in his registration form for training classes and took him with me.  You would have thought butter won't melt in his mouth, so well behaved, giving licks and getting fussed.  I put him back in the car and get chewed!  When I pulled up at home I thought he had fallen asleep due to all the attention but no he had managed to nearly hang himself, his collar had looped on one of those catches .. shows he's intelligent because he sat and never moved!  He never yelped or barked while I did the 10 minute drive home to let me know he was in danger. Infact I've never known him to sit still for that length of period.

If I had done nothing I certainly wouldn't be here to watch this little fellow grow up into a big cuddly bear that's for sure.

I wonder how many of you are facing starting Chemo or waiting for results of your scans, will it be stable, has it shrunk, the worries and thoughts you go through and somehow it makes it worse when Christmas is upon us.

I guess I will have to close for now as my little gentlemen is racing around the office like a mad man - Lexi's blanket is on the list of being demolished along with my coat - I'm trying to give hubby some free time as its the final of Countdown and said I'd keep little un with me.

If you are waiting for results I hope they come out well.

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