Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Season's Feelings

It's strange but when you have something like mesothelioma, active or in remission, you still take life for granted.  I promised myself that after surgery I would start to live and do what I like but as always I have carried on doing the same old.  I met up with a friend over Christmas and I haven't seen much of her this year, I made the usual promise yes we will get more time together, but somehow I know I will not keep that promise.

I was toying with the idea of giving up work but as I am now only working mornings and I roll in the office when I'm ready rather than appearing at 8 or 8.30, sometimes its 10.  Obviously if it's that late I might not finish till 3 but I tend to do what I feel like so why give it up? 

The cold weather does nothing for me, even as a teenager I hated going out in the cold, so if I didn't work what would I do all day, staying in the house drives me stir crazy and everyone I know works.  It's not like I can go to the gym and do what I use to do .. which ends up making me feel frustrated, I have never been into shopping, so popping into Darlington or the Metro Centre isn't what I call enjoyment.  God help me I even hate spending time in the hairdressers!

So what will I do in 2010, hopefully if I can fly this year I would like a couple of holidays, but Dubai will certainly be out of the equation due to the MST and the laws changing out there!  Barbados might be worth a week but the standard of service is no way as good as Dubai.  I would love to go to Vagas again, we did that with hubby's work back in 97 and it was fun.  I would like to do a cruise round the Caribbean but hubby hated it when we got off the ship and people were hustling you all the time .. no fun or relaxation there then.

I do know what I want and that is to stay in remission, try and get fit, maybe take up Pilate's and if it doesn't work as well this time try and find a different instructor, I would like to try ballroom dancing as I know that would help hubby's stomach shrink .. now that would be nice!

A lot of people have died this year again with this disease, some we hear about and some we don't.  I don't go onto the websites much as I dread to read someone else has fallen to mesothelioma and although I may not know them it affects me badly. 

So to those of us who are still going I pray we keep strong and healthy and which ever treatments you are going for or have done, it is working and hopefully we will all still be here this time next year planning our next year ahead.

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