Fighting spirit

The sunshine has helped restore my fighting spirit and out of the shock I have emerged back to how I usually am, determined to get the most out of life.  I am concerned that my stomach yak feeling isn't going to go now, unless some wonderful doc will put a camera down and see what is causing such a dreadful feeling, and the worry of taking chemo on top of this isn't a nice thought, especially if my insides open up like a boiled tomato again.  Hopefully I will find a chemo that suits.

I haven't a date yet for the USA but I am confident that the cryo will get quite a lot of the nodules, hopefully this will bring some relief to the pain that has been getting worse. 

I hope that they don't just get a couple of day's notice otherwise will have to turn it down, you have so many forms to fill in now before entering the USA.  I am also not going through the international service, why pay out more for someone in a department to do the paperwork - and lets face it hospital's do like to buck up the charges.

The week has flown again, although last Tuesday I felt rather under the weather I have kept myself going, I now have a face full of cold sores and look as white as a sheet, will have to get myself in better health for the battle ahead. 

I can understand why we do give up, the pain and the drugs and the awful feelings are so very wearing and the lack of treatments doesn't help either.  Sometimes you do wake up and wonder is this really all worth it but then as I keep writing, once you are up and moving around you do improve -its just a shame we have to sleep.  On that cheery note I think I'll go and get ready for another day.

Jan