Monday, 20 June 2011

Bear Asleep

After another early dawn with Bear I was both over the moon and annoyed to find him crashed out at lunchtime in his favourite place (the downstairs shower), snoring his head off making up for all the lost sleep. 

Yesterday we finally had breakthrough and I was able to groom most of his body, the minute I moved to his shoulders he took off leaving me holding the comb.  We also decided to go tablet free yesterday apart from his antibiotics, I am sure that the tramadol didn't do him any good at all apart from putting him in more distress.  Everyone I know who has taken them have all experienced dizziness or feeling strange.  He has also managed to scratch his chin with his paw and made quite a few scabs bleed but at least the majority of the green puss ones have gone.

I must admit with running on empty I have felt a lot better, my mood isn't so hot - rather on the if I had something in my hand I could throw it at you phase but physically I don't feel so achy and tight.  Maybe because I haven't been able to lie down and sleep for longer than 120 minutes my body hasn't frozen into one position.  I am looking forward to collapsing tonight though, I said this last night but ended up getting up and down with Bear.  Hubby will have to be on duty and do the its ok Bear routine and stroke his fevered brow, walk him round the house and run round the garden between 1 and 3am trying to get him back in the house.

Have arranged to see my macmillan nurse tomorrow.  I phoned her last week as I want to have a open honest talk about how I feel and what chances I feel I have.  If I did this with hubby or the girls I would need to take their feelings into consideration, whereas with a stranger who has no involvement one way or the other, it won't matter what I say.

I truly feel like quitting work and tonight I was so close to just walking away from it all.  Maybe I do truly feel this is what I want to do or am I just so tired that I can't think straight.

Oh well better go, Bear is threatening to rub his bloody chin all down the sofa.  Pleased to see him back to his naughty self again.

Hope Debbie and Cher had a smooth day of treatment in Germany, put them on your thoughts for the day list.

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