Saturday, 25 June 2011

Weekend of Meso

I did it again, I overslept .. another morning spent with extra pain, why couldn't I just get up at 8 instead of 9.30, it's amazing how an extra 90 minutes can inflict more pain on those sensitive areas.

No word of my scan, although my GP has chased this up and the request is sitting in the hospital department waiting for a date.  At least I will get an appointment relatively soon, but then that leads to the next stage of what will I do.  Yes I have my plan, get my stomach/gut/gullet sorted and see what is causing so much aggro then if the chemo won't cause any more problems to it then I guess that's what I will do.  I still keep referring back to the Adam's trial, which I would like to do but under the criteria I don't think I would be allowed.

My vanity is also coming into focus at the moment, my hooded eyes could be the source of why my eyes want to close around 3 every day so I am going to enquire about having some of the surplus (loads of it) skin removed.  At least this is easy surgery and the benefit will be both visible and beneficial.  I honestly wish at times I could turn the clock back, but would I do anything different about the treatments .. the only one I would by pass would be the gall bladder.

Have started noting more changes in some of the pains, under my armpit is feeling different and my bottom rib seems to feel like its sticking to my stomach.  The iron bar box is expanding further around my chest and my heart area is heavier.  I feel slightly swollen under my ribs, I hope the bottom part of my lung isn't doing anything naughty and entertaining its mate meso!  I am also going to ask about a different nerve pain, I fear hubby is starting to have concerns over whether or not I could commit murder and him being the main victim.  I hate taking tablets to start with as your body wasn't meant to have additional stuff added to its make up, and lets face it the brain is a very unique and in some ways uncharted ground.  Giving mixed signals vi way of a pill doesn't necessary mean it will give the right signal for what it is intended to do.  I know I'm a whinging b*****d normally so add a tablet that makes you swing from bad to worse isn't a good idea.  These tablet inserts always bring a smile, you may become depressed, could bring on suicide etc ..  Not what you really want to read is it!

We have had the dogs out over the fields today, first time in quite a while for me.  It was great as the grass was higher than both Bear and Lexi, which meant neither of them wanted to wander far from us as we made the pathway through!  Because of Bear's neck as soon as I came in I blasted him to remove any pollen or small insects.  What a joy that is fighting with Bear to stop him putting the nozzle in his mouth.  I am sure the power of the thing would blow his insides out!

I hope that if I need to go on chemo the chemo does its job and maybe I could actually feel healthier.  After buying all those new jeans, none will fit as I have managed to gain weight - so a word of advice buy something that doesn't fit when you go shopping as you will either grow into it or down to it!

Have invested in a more powerful house designer program so had better get back to the who to do manual and start reading.  Only hope before I die I actually get to build some of the house designs I have created.

Another weekend with meso on the brain, variable weather and boredom rolled into one.

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