I went to see my oncologist last Monday night and he was thrilled with my results. A few mm in his eyes wasn't worth getting upset about, after all I had taken out the largest tumours and the rest seem to be steady. Yet the subject turned back to if I hadn't taken control of where I was going I probably wouldn't be here and I seem to know what is best for me. So what is best - I have no idea but I do know that I am doing nothing - yes you got it - nothing - I am going to enjoy the next 3 months and shove meso where it deserves to go.
I did gleen one bit of information that I never knew before, when Dr Owens removed the first lot of meso it was fiberous, and of course I had mixed meso (both E's and S's) but it was more in sheet form. The second lot removed was like baked beans all individual but lumped together and I believe all E's, this time it seems that I have individual tumours. I didn't think meso could change its form in one person but wow am I glad. Maybe I will have more luck in the future when I do need to remove them, if they do stay individual.
My mcmillan nurse, who I have had some 5 years although I haven't seen her really since middle of 09 until recently, has had her area redefined. I am sad about this because although I didn't call on her alot I had built up a relationship and she had seen me go through so much with the chemo and the surgery. But it's the patients she see's more of that I feel sorry for. Especially if she has some long term elderly on her books, how do they start again. Thought just isn't put into these things at the top end is it.
I have worked some long hours this last week and maybe it was because I was tired but on Wednesday during healing my mind was thinking about what I needed to get done at work and my mam popped into my thoughts. During the night I awoke crying my eyes out and the only thing I can remember is my mam saying "I have to go now", and it felt that she had really been there.
Better make a move, its Monday morning already - still no glorious summer sun but I guess its warm.