Sunday, 2 October 2011

Summers here!

What a week, the warmth has really cheered me up and I do feel better for it.  Yesterday was carer's day but with so much going on I knew I won't have the energy left to get to it and be ready for hols on Tuesday, that is one of the things that annoys me now, not being able to run from one thing to another without thinking about it.  I hope it was a good and informative day for those who attended.

I also received my scan on Thursday, the password came Friday so last night I had a quick look.  I look so deformed, my heart is somewhere over my left, my right lung being so big.  I can see the singular lumps but not sure what is thickening and what isn't. 
Could that top arrow point to the mass now outside my body (I did the arrows but they didn't come out right)  or is it that lighter grey underneath and my three arrows below point to small raised lumps.  

This lump has really grown, but overall I don't think to my inexperienced eye that the meso is that bad, sure there are several lumps like this one around parts of the lung but I have decided to remain cool about it all.

I know these comments will change next week but at the moment I have decided as long as it remains slow growing I can get on with life.

The only really problem I am having with the meso is the mass just above my breast and my breast itself.  I so want the radiation to still be working and killing it off but I doesn't feel any better - unless that has something to do with the seatbelt giving it a thud! Hubby thinks I should see about getting it cut out to help ease the pain -something to ask about again but how many operations can a body endure!

Although after the last knock on my already ugly looking nose I am seriously considering a nose job, my luck would be that it would be broke within a few months of having it fixed!  Wouldn't mind my eye lines being removed, a new pair of boobs, a face lift .... the list goes on!

Wednesday is fast approaching and after sitting out in the sun for a full day yesterday I am so looking forward to the 6 lazy days ahead, no work just pure rest. 

I went to see the stomach specialist, he told me I was on the best medicine for my stomach and that it was best to leave things as they are unless I get worse.  He doesn't know why I have excessive acid and he didn't want to start running scans etc. 

My moods are all over again (so my husband tells me), maybe I should increase the pregabin back up to the same dosage as the gabapentin but then if I ever get to come off it, its a long journey back down.  Decisions we have to make - why can't they be simple ones like what should I buy the black or the brown shoes!

On that note I had better get moving, as its raining I thought I should try and go and sort some of mam's stuff out, still haven't done anything, its like she is just away for a couple of weeks - ok its been months, but we have decided to rent her house out and I really must pack her things away, so I guess today will not be an easy day emotionally.

Keep stable everyone, don't let the meso grind us down.

1 comment:

Amanda said...

Hi Jan
hope you are enjoying your rest, we have been recommended pregabin, as didn't get on with gabapentin. How have you got on with it, we have found for every drug you take to offset one thing, there is a price to be paid somewhere else.

take care and stay stable