Sunday 13 October 2013

Sunday Blues

Yesterday I popped into the office and had a quick look through the post on my desk and filed a few things.  Gary dropped me off on the way to the fields so time was limited to his dog walking time.

I was tired after such little exercise it was stupid so I sat on my backside for the rest of the day.  I did try working on my writing but honestly my brain didn't want to get into action.  I was over the moon about one thing, my visits to the loo increased dramatically I went more yesterday than I had all week.

I think I am becoming allergic to tomatoes, a couple of times over the weeks my feet have gone crazy with itching, I blamed fleas the first time but had no bites.  Last night I had tomato ketchup with my potatoes as soon as I finished eating my feet went crazy!

Today has been a nothing day, I didn't feel great when I got up, certainly not looking forward to the prospect of showering either.  But 2 hours up and I knew I needed to get clean, thankfully I did it then as the nurse arrived not long after I emerged from the bathroom.  After draining solo yesterday we thought we would let the nurse come today, although for the first time in a while we got off 250ml only.  My stomach is quite flat, hence I think pressure has been released from my bladder - something has gone right.

I feel like I need some one to give my lungs a good blow out, shame we can't just get an airline down into the lung and give it a good blow.  I feel like the left lung just isn't opening up enough and getting air in.  I hate this feeling because it makes everything an effort.

I have watched a Colombo movie and then Vanilla Sky, what a lot of tosh but it past a few hours!  Now it's dinner time, I have no idea what I want to eat.  We are doing Sunday Roast tomorrow but my taste for food today is not there.  Hubby reeled off a few ideas to a blank face from me, it is so hard for him trying to cook or suggest things tempting to eat.  I have drank a bottle of protein today, some body builder milk shake that is full of every thing to build the body up, can't see me on Mr Strongman anytime soon.

Many meso friends found themselves at Linda Thomas' leaving party, her new life will begin in Australia, so I wish her well and know that those who attended will miss her dearly.

I am feeling at a loss, hubby has decided it's the loss of protein in my body and I truly want to believe that, but we all know cancer can give us days like this, I hope I can shrug it off and feel brighter tomorrow.  I always wish I could go back to bed and wake up the next day feeling better.

So that is me for tonight, here's hoping tomorrow brings a better day not just to me but to everyone else who could be feeling this way.  I also hope the weather improves, it's been terrible here, gale force winds and lots of rain.


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