Saturday, 10 September 2011

Nothing Day looming

After suffering the nightmare pains the other night I didn't take my pregabalin (only on 1 a day) and then last night I forgot again.  From such a careful routine to out of the window isn't normal for me.  This morning I woke up with that terrible anxiety feeling.  I know why - I am going on a cold turkey route so I have taken the pregabalin, if I am to come off them then I guess its one every other day - so I am a dumbie for forgetting last nights.  Should I come off them I don't really know, did they do any good I can't really say.

Having visited a few of the meso warriers sites this morning I feel happier knowing that everyone is on an up beat, its only me that's ever miserable!!!

Bear is chasing Lexi everywhere she goes and she is flirting outragiously with him, moving her tail and letting him lick her ears ..  this started at about 4 am this morning so I guess it will be dog patrol for the next 5 days.  The minute she snaps at him the time is over, so unfair on Bear but Lexi is far to old to have an operations and I doubt Bear would forgive me if his bits were cut, good grief it took him months after his bits were shaved for him to come near me.

The sky is so grey and reflecting my mood perfectly, I haven't even had a shower yet and its nearly 10, just can't seem to get motivated.  I got up, went back to bed then got back up this morning all by 9 am.  Maybe pushing myself will do some good.

On a bright note one of our friends from Dubai is visiting next weekend, her sister is starting Manchester Uni so we shall have a house full.  At least when you are around people you always make the effort and no one ever really see's how bad you feel.  All I can say is I am really pleased it isn't today because I don't think I could find that false wellness.

Neville came through his operation ok on Thursday and nothing sinnister was discovered so I am pleased, just wish he would find out what was happening with his lungs.  MS is a terrible disease causing so many off shoots of problems. 

I should move from this spot and try and force a something day, but alas I really do feel like I am in a nothing day and all I want to do is curl up, if my side didn't ache at the bottom of my ribs I would certainly be curled up on the sofa but the need to stretch it out is winning.  Think I'll find one of those magic pain patches and shove it on.

Lets hope Sunday lifts the weather and my mood!

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