I haven't been at my best this week, mentally I have been up and down and having made the decision that I am not going to do anything until September for treatment I am now setting my mind on staying well. On Wednesday I had healing but on Thursday night I had one of my reoccurring dreams where I am throwing up, but I can't get it out, on Thursday I was throwing it completely up, I hope this is a sign that maybe the cancer is reducing - now that would be a miracle.
For the first time in a fortnight I got over the woods with the dogs, Bear and Lexi stay by us when I am there but today he could sniff the cattle and sheep and was going a little too close to the fence. I'm sure the young bull got a scent from him because he started towards us - I doubt I could run fast enough! Last week Bear went into one of the thick undergrowth's after a rabbit and we found a tick on his head when he came back so now I am paranoid of him getting them.
|The Cattle taking care of the lambs and Sheep|
At the top of the ridge I decided it was time for a rest and I just couldn't resist taking a picture of them both waiting patiently for me to get up.
It's been a sad week for us also, as its 3 years since our Tyke died and on Wednesday it will be 7 years since I lost my Dad. I can't believe it, 7 years since I last finished my first cycle of Chemo either. Where has that time gone.
|Lexi & Bear taking a breather!|
I heard from Graham this week and am pleased to say that he is doing ok and even met two other gentlemen who had surgery, 5 and 3 years ago and both are symptom free, I am so envious but so pleased to hear this.
|Tyke as a Puppy|
I have heard from a couple of Mesothelionians who are on chemo at the moment and all seem to be getting results. That is the kind of news we want to hear, but just the thought of the needle let alone the poison makes me shiver.
Although I've been in the office all week I didn't see my eldest brother till yesterday morning when I popped in for a couple of files. His first question was why couldn't the Doc in London do the cryo, why have I decided to hold back any treatment, honest it was the third degree. I know that my brothers worry but sometimes I don't think they, or should I really say him, understand that you just can't keep putting your body through treatments. It is only a year since my last cryo, but then a year in meso time can be what is left of someone's time. I have been lucky that I can say it's been a year since I last tried something. I was speaking to a newly diagnosed lady and my heart went out to her, her life as she knows it has just crumbled, together with that of her family. No matter what cancer you are diagnosed with the feeling of helplessness is the first one. She has been told that she had time to decide what she wanted to do and I must admit she has already started chemo, in total it is 6 weeks since she suddenly took ill.
On an ending note, as we drove back from the fields I saw my eldest brother in the tree's, chain saw back in hand. I don't know how he does it and never seems to get tired, up at 5.30 every morning and to bed at 11.00pm earliest - wish I had some of his energy.
|Thankfully H & S aren't about!|
Whatever you are doing this Bank Holiday I hope that your meso doesn't get in the way of your family life - it manages to ruin everything else.