We all handle the diagnosis and getting on with it so differently, some of us hide, some of us face it like an on coming train, others cry, some have anger issues but it all leads to one path and that is acceptance. We have to accept that we have been unlucky in the cards that we were dealt.
At the age where my life should have been everything I wanted, money in the bank, good husband, nice house, career I got the biggest bombshell of my life. 44 and six months to live, thankfully I am still here and things have moved on. But have they really, is the medical profession any further forward in dotting out the line that says what our meso is going to do next?
I would love to say that Alimta keeps the meso at bay for many years but I can't because we know that it only works on 40% of tumours, what of the 60% if doesn't work on (I think that now includes me) what do we have to help us starve the meso of what it wants.
I do hope that something comes along soon and that it works, I hear that the SS1P is doing well in the States, The Adams here is apparently helping, cryo would be wonderful on a few of my tumours that are causing pain - not going to happen is it! We don't hear much about the other drugs that have been trialled and left on the wayside.
Do we know when we are ready to give in, some days with the pain I could quite happily say enough but I know I don't want to die, I just don't want pain.
My meso is depressing me as much as the weather, this path of life can be hard but we have to keep moving forward and always hoping tomorrow will bring something good. Out there is an answer to what makes Mesothelioma tick, a researcher will find it I only hope its in my life time and yours.