I am still in the 'would I', 'Could I' or 'Should I' if offered just Alimta, but reading back what I wrote during the time I should be saying to myself 'No it won't be offered and if it is I would be crazy to take it'.
I was out today for the first time since Chemo on Thursday 22nd Nov and boy was it nice to feel the sun on my face, not nice feeling the cold air work its way down my throat. Which reminds me, yesterday I did a stupid thing. Gary dug out the deep fat fryer and emptied the fat out but left it stood on the work top to clean, (why can't they just finish jobs when started) after moving it from one side to the other for 4 days I thought 'If I don't do it now it will still be there at Christmas'. I turned it on and forgot, when I remembered the fat was burning, of course I opened the lid and got a good blast of the burning fat down my throat, I swear it burnt the hairs off the back of it. A lesson I have learnt, leave things well alone! It took hours for the smell to leave the kitchen as well.
Back to today though, the fields were crisp with frost on the ground, the water was still quite frozen but no wind and I managed a good walk without the need of my inhaler. Although Gary did drive the land rover down the first field, I think a hill to far was the thought.
Bear was so excited that I was with him, as I kneeled down to take a photo of Lexi, Bear knocked me flying on my back then managed to stand on my chest. I was totally winded by the big boy but his excitement grew and kept stepping over me so I couldn't get up! Finally Gary managed to grab him so I could get up, but he was so boisterous and kept jumping up, no kidding when an 10 stone dog decides to spring at you ... MOVE.
Tomorrow I am going to venture out to the shops and try and do some Christmas Shopping, feeling a little guilty here as I should return to work. I haven't had all the normal side effects from the Chemo and although I was hanging for them they didn't break out. I wonder if this has to do with the anti-histamine they pumped into my veins. No bad headaches or really bad kidney pains, had aches but not 'rolling around in agony' pains. This is what is making me wonder whether this second lot has done anything, my breast is very painful as is the bottom rib, back to the normal pains not the chemo pains I had on the first dose. This again is bringing back the worry that I need more chemo, which then starts the merry go round in my head again.
That's it for me, apart from the picture that caused Bear to flatten me.
To everyone out there fighting this - keep strong and well away from anyone with colds and flu.