I emailed a private doc that I had seen to diagnose my hernia, Mr Vish, on Sunday, in the hope he will be able to do something with my tummy. I have waited patiently for the NHS to send an appointment that was supposed to be for last week, but then what if they didn't do anything by our holidays - I would be snookered. He emailed me at 8.00 Monday morning and said I could see him that night.
The weather was terrible here all day, it rained and rained. I knew I had to go to my mam's and sort the house out as I am renting it to a friend for a couple of months while he waits for his new house to be finished. It was emotional again, packing up the remainder of things and giving away the final things that adorned her bedroom and the living room. I had sorted 4 boxes out that I thought we, as a family, would want to go through, and they have gone in the attic. I only filled up once but managed to keep myself focused and not break down. I still expect to see both my parents sitting there, but more so my mam.
I had an appointment with my back man at 3.30, after a quick stop at home off I went to Durham. He can tell a difference with the muscles in my back, they are certainly relaxing and thinks the stomach is now putting a little pressure on it. Once my stomach is sorted he believes my back will be ok, and will give a few exercises to ensure I keep it strong.
We stopped off at home to feed the dogs then off to Darlington to see the private doc. He scribbled some notes down, examined me then told me I was getting treated on Friday morning. He isn't doing it but the radiologist is. He will then see me when we get back from hols to ensure it has stayed down. If it comes back up he is more than happy to put a pin in it (joking). I will feel rather embarrassed if it is all fat that I have suddenly put on! Seriously though he tapped here and there and could here fluid. He doesn't think its a lot either but enough to cause the problems of not feeling hungry etc. I think maybe the water tablets are working, my wrists, ankles etc are looking thin, I think they are pulling all my fluid and pooling it in my stomach! He told me they will help control the symptoms of fluid.
We came home and ate, I didn't realise how late it was, nearly 7.30 by the time I put the dinner plates on the table.
Lou, our wonderful warrior in Australia has just received news that she is starting chemo again. I am pleased that they are going to treat her again but also worried for her. She has had bad reactions, much like me, to the chemicals. She is being admitted for treatment, I guess by now she has already had the first lot of chemo, due to time difference.
We spent a little time yesterday texting, without saying much to anyone, her stomach too has been expanding and when she got her results her specialist told her the cancer is thriving, fluid in her abdomen too. Please read Lou's story if you haven't. She is an amazing lady who has been through more treatments than I.
Bear is still staying by me and last night kept resting his head on the side of the sofa and giving me those big brown eyes. Although I think he was after doggie treats rather than wanting kisses! AT the moment he is waking me up every morning at 6 am wanting to go out, he is consuming so much water during the hot nights he can't hold out. I don't want to make him lie there bursting at the seams but I have to hope this won't form a habit.
As I wait to hear how Lou is, I know so many people are going through treatments or preparing too. I am worried myself about starting something. I want to get the cancer back under control but am terrified that maybe the chemo could kill me the next time round. We are always dicing with death, whichever option we opt for, or if the oncologists are willing to give.
The meso community supports each other through these times, as well as when we lose a loved one to this terrible cancer. We share the good news and celebrate and take the bad news to our hearts.
I must try and get into work, the sun has come out today so maybe I can fit into another of my friends skirts. Oh to lose my tummy, shame Mr E couldn't get rid of his so easily! I want to get him the Insanity work out discs but I have been unable to find them in UK outlets. We saw this advertised in the States when I went for my last cryoablation, wish I had ordered them then. I would have a nice slim hubby, well if he actually did do it!
Hope Steve has arrived at his skiing, Steve & Linda are filling their days doing something positive, Mavis is resting, Tess is still meeting her Targets, Amanda & Ray are having some chill time and Lou, hope the chemo is being gentle with you. To everyone else, have a good day. I feel uplifted and hope that I will stay this way.